Saving Faith
by JesterChester
Summary: She'd been called a bitch, a psycho, and a killer, but she'd never been called a hero. Faith comes back to try and gain forgiveness, she does not mean to change everyone's life along the way, she does not mean to fall in love, but it happens things fall apart and the only thing left to do is put them back together.
1. Chapter 1

**So I have to give this a shot, mostly because Buffy is my favorite show of all time, and my two favorites are Tara and Faith. This is an AU story though, Faith never went to jail and she comes back right at the start of The Gift (I also ignore a lot of the Angel story to make things less complicated). I'll stick to the major plotlines (but change most of the dialogue and such), but just add Faith in there. I hope you enjoy.**

They say the path to redemption is a long one. They also say that the grass is greener on the other side. Guess which one's a lie. You'd think I'd get a little cheat sheet for the whole redemption thing considering I was in a coma for eight months, but apparently not. I'm still working on it, the redemption path is a hard one, and I've gotten lost more than once. At least I stuck with it, that's more than I can say for a lot of people. As for the grass being greener, Sunnydale was never exactly my safe haven, considering it was on the mouth of hell, but this hell is a lot better than a lot of places. It took me a long time to realize it, but maybe this hell was worth saving after all.

Then again, I was never really the one. I wasn't a sidekick, but I was never the chosen, you know? Some girl died, in comes me, but perfect little Buffy was already standing there. She's the one, I've always been number two. It seems to me like I won't be doing a lot of saving, maybe some helping if I'm lucky, probably some dying too. Frankly, when Angel started getting all biblical about some she-god roaming Sunnydale trying to find the key, I sort of zoned out, but when he told me the whole world might end because of it that caught my attention. It might be nice being on the other side of evil this time. And if Buffy couldn't save Dawn then I would, because she deserves one hell of an award for having to deal with Buffy her whole life.

Or not her whole life? I still don't quite understand the whole false memory thing.

Right now I was just worried about appearing genuine. The last time Buffy saw me we sort of fought, to make things a little more confusing I happened to be in her body when I was throwing the punches, it made me see things a little differently. The last time I saw Buffy, things weren't such a riot, luckily she didn't see me though. I only came there to show my respects, Joyce was a nice lady, I was sad to see her go. I knew it'd be tough for Buffy, so I didn't go butting in, but I felt really bad I wanted to help I just couldn't.

"B-but you're just a girl." I'd been watching Buffy this whole time, slaying that vamp like it was nothing. She looked tired to be honest, but I'd never tell her that, tied for her was still stronger than anyone I've ever known. Buffy stopped as if she was thinking over the guys words for a moment.

"That's what I keep saying." Buffy's so calm, you'd think she'd be a little more intense considering the world's gonna end but I guess she's in the zone. Once she goes inside I follow. I already know that everyone's in the Magic Box, including that prick of a vampire, so I lag a little. I'm thinking about what I'm going to say, how I'm just going to throw myself into the middle of this all and make it right. That hurts my head so I just walk through the training room and lean against the threshold of the door out of sight, but close enough to hear what they're saying.

"No! No, you don't understand. We are not talking about this!" Buffy snapped.

"Yes we bloody well are!" The silence that follows even has me on edge and I'm just observing. What Giles is saying makes sense, but he always makes sense. There's nothing rational about letting Dawn die, it'd be killing her, it'd be wrong.

"Hey I thought killing people was my job." Of all the things to say that was the worst, but Buffy hadn't punched me yet so that was a good sign.

"Faith." Buffy didn't exactly sound shocked, but thrilled was nowhere in her tone either. I stepped further into the room, feeling a little more comfortable now that Buffy had said something.

"Yeah it's me B, congrats on having eyes." I joked, no one laughed though.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you? Look I wanna tell you everything, all of you, but we don't have time. We've got a key to save, that's why I'm here, it's the most important thing right now." At least she didn't disagree, though I could see Willow protecting her friend, though the girl looked a little lost right now. "So lay it on me B, what's the plan and where do I fit in?"

"At this point we've got nothing." Xander said with a sigh. "Glory's too strong-."

"Maybe for one slayer, but when you've got two that changes things." I reminded him.

"How do we know little Miss Murder won't turn on you again?" I could recognize that bleach blond hair anywhere, William the Blood. Or I guess they call him Spike now that they've gotten all buddy-buddy with him.

"You don't, I'm always a gamble, but B's smart. She knows what she's doing." Buffy and I exchanged looks before Xander's ex-demon current girlfriend raised her hand slightly.

"Okay come on, now that we've got one more brain in the mix, we have to come up with something." The girl was enthusiastic I'll give her that.

"Okay but what about Ben? He's made of people parts, we could…um…well I mean we could kill him…right?" Everyone sort of got quiet, thinking over what Xander had said. I had no clue what he was talking about so I just took a seat on the steps and waited for someone to respond.

"We can't." Was all Buffy said and that was that.

"Okay, but here…Olaf's enchanted hammer, we could use this." Buffy walked over and picked up the hammer.

"Good call Anya." Buffy stood there twirling the hammer for a second before nodding. "Okay right. I've got a plan…" I sort of zoned out, mostly because the plan didn't really involve me. Xander and Anya went downstairs, Buffy and Giles to the back training room. Spike went outside to smoke, leaving me, Willow, and her girl alone.

"Why'd you come back?" Willow said angrily.

"To help, that's all." I assured her. I looked over to her girlfriend, she was staring up at the ceiling for a moment before she looked towards me. "What's up with the girl?"

"Her name's Tara, and it's none of your business." Willow said.

"She looks scared-."

"Shut up Faith! Just shut up! You can't just show up out of the blue and expect everything to be okay. You killed people, you lost control, and you don't just get to rejoin the team-."

"I'm not asking for that. If you think this has been easy for me then you're wrong, but I came back to help Buffy and that's that. So get off your high horse Red, we're all on the same side here." Buffy walked out a look of determination on her face, she stopped and walked over towards Willow.

"Willow…I need to know what we're dealing with. Anything that can help-."

"To be honest Buffy, I've spent half my time freaking out and the other half working on a way to help Tara, I know that shouldn't be my main focus but-."

"No, it should be. Of course it should be, I just know that you're my most powerful weapon. I need you." Buffy chanced a look at Tara, she had to know that Red was hell-bent on saving her girl right now, because even I could tell.

"Me? Powerful?" Even I knew that and I'd been away for a long time.

"For such a genius sometimes you're a real dumbass. You gave Angel his soul back of course you're powerful." Willow and Buffy looked at me like I was getting in the middle of things so I got up and walked over towards the entrance. If this was going to be my last night on earth I had to at least say one thing. Buffy had apparently finished giving her pep talk to Willow because she was heading right towards the door trying to bypass me but I stepped in front of her to stop her. "Buffy-."

"Faith we don't have time to process this, you're here and you're going to help, that's two points we didn't have before, but we're nowhere near even with Glory." Buffy paused and pushed her hair back behind her ear. "You've got really great timing, or the worst timing…depending on how you see things."

"About last time I was here…I'm sorry-."

"I know." Buffy cut me off, her eyes meeting mine briefly. "I felt it. Just stick to the fighting and if I don't make it I'm counting on you to save Dawn."

"I always was the next best thing." I joked.

"We're slayers, we _are_ the best thing. If you want me to trust you again, then save my sister." Buffy sighed and looked around for a moment as if she was making sure no one could hear us. "We won't all make it, some of us will die, but I know you aren't afraid. That's what separates you from the rest of us, you were never afraid." I gotta hand it to B, she did make a kick ass hero. Her speeches were inspirational, she always went with her gut, but for once she got something wrong: I was terrified.

* * *

Okay so the plan was good, did I expect anything less? It was Buffy's mind at work after all, she always came through in the clench. I wonder how long it took her to decide on killing me way back win, more or less time than this. Whatever. I'm over it, water under the bridge, the only thing I have to worry about is keeping the Scooby Gang alive, and saving Dawn. Nothing too important after all.

I was surprised Buffy put so much on my shoulders. I mean maybe a little fighting here and there, that's what I expected, but Buffy was so focused right now I could feel it all slipping out from under her. Too focused would get you killed, ask my predecessor, too loose and you're in end up like, Buffy was the happy medium, but right now things were different.

Now that Willow's gone all darkside on us and zapped Glory and Tara's brain it's time to fight. I told myself not to kill the patients, to go for the gremlin looking things, because if the world doesn't end I'd like to have a clear conscious. Somewhere between punching one of those creeps in the face and slitting one's throat I saw Tara laying on the ground. I couldn't just leave her there, no man left behind right?

I jogged over and tapped her face. She slowly regained consciousness and looked up at me. "Who…um what?" I lifted her up and laid her down by Willow's side. I didn't have time to chat, Dawn was in danger, Buffybot's head was twenty feet away and Buffy was fighting Glory. I looked up and saw Dawn up there, tied to something unable to move.

"Buffy! Buffy save me!" Dawn yelled. I looked up and tried to see why Dawn was suddenly so freaked out. _There's someone up there_. Wait what was that? That's what I was thinking but that sounded a lot like-. _Faith it's me, Willow, I'm communicating telepathically it's a long story…someone's up there with Dawn. You've got to help her._ I looked towards the steps, there was a whole hoard of patients and demons blocking the way. I was strong but I couldn't fight them all.

_Faith just go, trust me._

I started running for the steps. Then suddenly everyone was just tossed aside like nothing, I looked back briefly seeing Willow and Tara's hands intertwined, those girls were mad strong, I thought. Dawn was still yelling for Buffy. Even she wanted Buffy more than me, like I said I was always second best. But second best would just have to be good enough right now. I was quick, quicker than I remember and, it took less than a minute for me to reach the top.

There was some freak of nature guy up there, he was cutting Dawn. I could see shimmers of light below us, the portal was opening. "You're too late." The guy said, he tried to hit me but I punched him square in the jaw and threw him off the balcony. I ran over to Dawn and untied her. "F-Faith, what are you…are you working for Glory? Is this like your revenge or-."

"I'm here to help." Dawn looked at me and then down at the portal. "Let's get you down there."

"No! I-." Dawn looked at the portal, demons were beginning to climb out, I was too late to stop it all. "It's already open, I have to-." I grabbed Dawn's arm before she could even think of moving. I wasn't going to let her jump, I couldn't.

"No, Buffy said to get you down from here. She told me to save you, and this is the only thing I've ever done right in my life so don't mess that up." I started walking Dawn back from the ledge just as Buffy made it to the top. "Buffy, let's get Dawn out of here."

"We can't." Buffy was so frightened, I could feel her emotions heighten at the sight of the portal. "It's already open, we have no choice."

"What? Buffy no, you said that protecting Dawn was the most important thing-."

"It is." Buffy cut me off. "Death is my gift." Buffy whispered. She started moving towards the portal she was going to jump.

"No!" Dawn ran after Buffy, and they both grabbed one another tightly. I couldn't do a thing but watch.

"Dawnie I have to." Buffy looked towards the portal again. "Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will _always_ love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now." Buffy eyes caught mine for the briefest moment, she wasn't just talking to Dawn anymore, this was for both of us. This was Buffy telling me that I was forgiven, she couldn't say it a few months ago, she couldn't even say it in LA. This was it, this was all I'd ever get. "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

I didn't try to stop her. That was my biggest regret, but I knew stopping her would change things, everything wouldn't turn out right. It felt selfish in the moment though, it felt like I was going for the role of the one and only chosen one, but I wasn't. Buffy and I had a connection so I felt what she felt in that moment, she wasn't scared or content, really. Buffy was free.

And that was more than I could ever say for me. Dawn's cries pulled me out of it, her bone crushing hug made me feel like hell. I knew she was hugging me because I was there, but for the briefest moment maybe it felt like I could belong. For the briefest moment _I did_ belong. Death was her gift? Maybe it could be mine too.

**So how about it Buffy fans, should I continue on with this?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the support, Buffy is absolutely a phenomenal show and I think that any way we can keep it going is worth trying, so here's my little part. It is very difficult to get Dawn and Tara's voices down, but I did my best. Enjoy.**

I only did two good things in my life. The first was saving Dawn. The second was sticking around afterwards. I didn't have to, everyone knew it, but really did I have any choice? Dawn had lost her mom and her sister, she needed someone to protect her. Physically protect her at least. I wasn't so great with emotions, I was great at fighting and fucking, but not talking or processing. So I just stuck to patrolling and my job at a bar, there was nothing else I needed to do.

Okay I'll admit, it was mad weird going out and taking down vamps with that robot Buffy thing, but I understood why I had to. Buffy was the good slayer, if everyone just though I was the only one in Sunnydale they'd all come and try to take over at once. Because I was weak, I was evil. Now we just let them think I was on the redemption train and Buffy had a sidekick, it keeps a lot of the baddies at bay.

Sometimes I'd go to the Summers' house and hang out in the morning, at least I always got a free meal and the company was decent. Plus I knew Dawn sort of liked having me around, she laughed at my jokes, I wasn't so bad in small doses apparently. Willow was still wary about me being there, that was clear. Dawn and Tara were really the only two people who didn't ever give me a hard time, it was nice to know I had some people on my side for once.

Tara was the only reason I'd been involved in the gang's plans anyway. She told me what Willow was planning, I felt like she sort of pitied me, but that was alright I guess. Better than waking up one day to a zombie Buffy without having any understanding of why. "What are you t-thinking about?" I looked up at Tara, she was making Dawn's breakfast while Buffybot was working on sandwiches for lunch.

"Can't you like read my mind?" I asked. Tara flipped a few pancakes, keeping her back to me before shaking her head.

"I'm not as powerful as Willow." Tara informed me. I stood up and grabbed a sandwich from the growing pile.

"I don't think you'd want to get into my head anyway, it's not a nice trip." I took a bite of the sandwich and looked over Tara's shoulder. "Those are some interesting looking pancakes."

"Don't make fun of me." Tara chided. "So h-how'd work going?"

"Do you really want to know?" I joked. Why would she care about my work? She was in school, she was going somewhere. I was working at a shitty bar on the bad side of town, it was nothing special.

"I asked didn't I?"

"It's alright I guess. Had to break up a fight last night wasn't pretty for those two pricks." I shrugged as Dawn came into the room.

"It helps to have a Slayer on the staff." Tara smiled at me and waved to Dawn as she sat down next to me.

"Hey what's with super-sandwich-bot over there?" Dawn asked. We all looked over and saw that Buffybot had made at least twenty sandwiches by now.

"Oh, unstart." Tara said before giggling a little. "I guess you'll be having pb&js for a while then Dawnie. Here's your pancakes." Tara handed Dawn a plate and she began eating. "So Xander's taking you to school Dawn, is that okay?"

"Yep it's fine." Dawn said with a shrug.

"Is the bot ready?" I asked Tara.

"Willow seems to think so, so I'm not too worried." Tara said with a nod. "Speaking of, Willow's at the Magic Box picking up supplies with Anya so I don't have a ride to class. I was wondering-."

"Sure I'll take you." Xander walked in and smiled at Dawn and Tara his look of indifference towards me, didn't faze me in the slightest.

"Dawnie, you ready?" Xander asked.

"Yep." Dawn got up and Buffybot followed them out of the room. Being alone with Tara was relaxing, she was calming and sweet. I remember meeting her, in Buffy's body, her hair was lighter back then and she was so shy. She never really looked me in the eye, but now things were different. The time had changed her, it changed us all.

"How'd you know I wasn't Buffy?" I asked her suddenly, it'd been eating at me for a while. I'd gotten snippets of it from a few people but never the full story.

"Your aura, I can read them. It was forced into her body, it was fragmented and…you were hurting so badly. It wasn't her but it wasn't you either." Now I was looking at her, she'd taken Dawn's place now, seated next to me. "You should see you now, right where you should be."

"If you say so." I didn't want to get into this, the whole belonging thing was a hard idea for me to grasp. I didn't want Tara just handing it to me. "I should probably get you to class-." Tara grabbed my wrist to stop me from heading for the door.

"I mean it. You belong here. So don't back out, it's a sign of weakness you know." Tara smiled and so did I, she hardly knew me, but she was still able to get under my skin. I respected that about her. "Now we can go."

* * *

Driving was my only real escape. It was easy and it made me feel carefree, Tara of course didn't know that I didn't have my license, but to be fair I didn't really ever have time to get it. If I got pulled over then I'd take the blame, this was my only real badassery left, you can't blame me for living on the edge a little. Sometimes I find myself going back to my old ways, not aligning with the greatest evil or anything, but more like getting in an extra few punches on a vamp or missing the heart by just an inch so I can stab the bad guy just one more time.

When I was in LA Angel sort of explained it to me. How I liked hurting the vampires so badly because I was trying to kill the evil inside me. It made sense when I got there, but right now it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. I'm happy enough as I am, I don't need people trying to get into my head. Not again.

"D-do you want to come to class with m-me?" Tara asked as I pulled in from of the arts and humanities building.

"I don't think I'd understand a word of it to be honest." I wanted to ask her why her stutter sometimes came back. It wasn't always there except when we were alone. It worried me, if I'd ever made her uncomfortable she never said, but then again she wouldn't tell me anyway. Tara was sweet, sweeter than anyone who'd ever been around me, so that was enough to make me care about this. "School was never my strong suit."

"School's not for everyone, but you're good at other things." Tara said even though she didn't mention what those other things could be. Why was she still in the car? Was she worried I'd bail tonight?

"Yeah like killing people." Tara looked at me for a long time before looking down at her hands. "You're scared-."

"N-no, I'm not scared of you I just-."

"I meant about tonight. You're scared that it won't work. Or worse that it'll hurt Red." Tara nodded and I felt bad for bringing it up. No one wants their fears out in the open like that. "If it doesn't work then you guys will just be stuck with me."

"That's not it. I mean i-it's not like we don't want you around. Do you feel that way?" Of course I felt that way. Willow was pinning so hard to bring Buffy back, she even moved the date up a week so none of us could back out. I could see it now, as soon as Buffy came back Xander and Willow wouldn't have a problem with sending me on my way. I turned off the car and looked over at Tara, the question was still hanging in the air, but I didn't know what to say.

"Okay it's like this since I got here it's always been the Scoobies and me. I've never belonged because there's only supposed to be one. So when B raises up, I have to go, not even because I want to…I just think this is a one woman show." Tara kept her head down and nodded, but she still didn't get out from the car. "You're cutting it close."

"Look Faith…" She trailed off, she held her backpack close to her chest and kept her eyes ahead. "Don't make any life changing decisions before tonight, I mean just…just wait before you decide anything."

"Okay, if you say so." I stuck the keys in the ignition and started the car up. Tara smiled and got out of the car, jogging towards her class. I glanced at the clock and realized I'd made her late, next time I'd just give up on the emotions and let her go.

* * *

"Okay what are we waiting for?" Xander, Tara, and Anya turned and looked at me as if I'd broken some sort of _let's not speak _code. I was tired of this, just waiting for Willow seemed pointless. She was keeping something from us, otherwise why wouldn't she let any of us help her get things set up? I thought about telling Tara, but I thought maybe she already knew so I didn't say anything. "Fine, I'm going in the back." I stood up and walked through the door towards the back of the Magic Box. I started wrapping my hands when I heard someone else enter the room.

"Are you alright?" It was Tara. Of course. She was always the one to check on people if she thought something was wrong. It's not that everyone else was thoughtless, they were just all in their own heads, Tara was never like that.

"Five by five." I said. I finished wrapping my hands and walked over to the punching bag, getting in a few hits before Tara's presence started to get to me. "Are you sticking around for the show, because it's not that great. You want to get a punch in or something?"

"I'm not really so great with the whole…punching thing. I-I just thought that something was bothering you." I rested my hand on the bag and looked over at her. Sometimes I wondered about her, how she ended up in the Scooby Gang, how she ended up here with us like this. She was just this quiet girl from the south, but other than that I couldn't tell you thing about her pre-Scooby, I guess she could say the same thing about me.

"What's with Red lately?" It had to be asked, everyone was just sitting around like pod-people following Willow's every order. We'd already kept our mouths' shut to Dawn and Giles. I even felt bad about not telling Spike and that brought on a world of confliction. "Okay maybe I'm just overreacting."

"She knows what she's doing, Faith. I trust her-."

"I'm not saying I don't trust her, I'm just saying that when you care about someone you'll do anything to get them back. I'm not trying to get involved in some dark magic shady business-."

"Guys!" Xander came running into the room holding a note. His face was full of worry and disappointment. Willow came running in after him she looked between Tara and I and a single tear fell down her cheek.

"Giles is…he's going back to England, he left this note b-but he can't just leave. Not now not when-."

"Let's go to the airport." I suggested.

"But he might be gone already-."

"Yeah and he might not. We have to try, that's what they do in movies right?" Everyone seemed to agree and we jogged to the front of the Magic Box and started for the airport. Dawn got in the car with me, she didn't say a word, she just kept looking out the window like her whole world was crashing down. Jeez, sometimes Dawn took teenage angst to a whole new level. I guess that's what being a mystic ball of energy will do to a gal. "What's up D?"

"Nothin'." I made a mental note to teach Dawn how to lie next time we hung out, but I turned down the music and focused my attention on her.

"Nothin' my ass. You know you can't get a thing past me so stop tryin."

"Giles is leaving." Dawn said quietly.

"Yeah I bet he doesn't think we need him anymore I mean B's…well…I think we should be happy for him. He's probably got all kinds of women lined up for him back in England, G-man's a player." Dawn tried to smile but she was still stuck on something.

"It's just, after mom died I thought things couldn't get any worse. But then Buffy and now…I just feel like everyone around me is leaving. Did I do something wrong? Is this my fault?" I felt bad for Dawn. Sure I was an outsider, but Dawn didn't even really exist and a god tried to kill her, that's gotta take the world is out to get me to a new extreme. "You aren't leaving too are you?"

"Course not D. I'm in it for the long haul. Or at least until the next Big Bad shows up, I gotta tell you if they're offering up free meals I might have to switch sides again." Dawn punched my shoulder and we laughed because for once someone really believed in me. "I'm not leaving, B told me to protect you."

"Is that the only reason you're staying? Because Buffy told you so? Cause the real Faith doesn't follow orders."

"Shut up." I mumbled.

"You shut up." She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.

"I'm not staying because high and mighty Buffy told me to, I'd stay anyway. Cause now that Giles is heading out you'll need someone to be-."

"Family?" Dawn asked hopefully. Of all the words in the world she just had to pick that one. It was a nice thought, family. I'd seen those on TV, I'd watched everyone around me go home to the people they loved, but I never had one of those. The closest I'd come is with the Mayor and he tried to destroy the world. Talk about daddy issues.

I don't know if I want to be anyone's family. I just want to be Faith, nothing more. With family comes this sense of responsibility, Buffy sacrificed herself for her family, I don't know if I could do that. "Hey D-."

"You don't have to say anything. As long as you're here I'll know you care about us." I could already see that Xander had parked and everyone was rushing out of the car and running towards the building. I swung into a spot and Dawn and I rushed behind them. Xander, Tara, Anya, and Willow picked up some random gifts in one of those overpriced gift shops before we continued on. It wasn't hard to find Giles' flight, and as it turned out we only had to run a few hundred feet before we saw good ol' Giles sitting there and reading some boring book.

"Hey Mr. Watcher, you really thought we wouldn't come?" I asked. He closed his book and looked up at all of us.

"I didn't really want to make a scene." He said with that half-hearted laugh of his.

"We stopped by the gift store and got you something." Tara said holding up this little finger puppet monster. "I got you this, Mr. Giles. To remind you of all the baddies around here. Look, _grr argh_." Giles took the little monster and smiled at Tara.

"Thank you." He gave her a hug. I sort of zoned out for the next part, Giles and I had our differences. We were on completely different pages most of the time, but he accepted me. Brought me back in here and even trained with me. He wasn't so bad, maybe if he was my Watcher things would've been different.

"Faith." I looked up at him. I guess I was last. I thought about saying something deep, something for him to remember me by, but I couldn't form the words. "I'm proud of you."

"Jeez don't be such a sap." I didn't like all this emotional stuff, maybe I should've just stayed in the car.

"Don't make me say it again, Faith. You stuck around, you fought…that's what a slayer does. I wish things could've been different-."

"Don't we all."

"But then again watching you grow from that scared little girl to a strong woman…it's been quite the sight to behold." I hugged him, he didn't back up or tense, he just hugged me back. I didn't want him to leave, I really just needed him to stay. But I didn't say anything about it, I just pulled back and watched him walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading everyone. Just to let you know, I'm going to try and avoid going into all the intense details of some of the less important episodes, because they obviously would have been different with Faith there. Enjoy. **

Dawn was stuck with Spike for the night, I still don't understand why we left them alone, but Tara seemed okay with it and I trusted her judgment. We made it to the cemetery and all kneeled by Buffy's grave. "Ready?"

"To bring B back from the dead, I don't know if I'll ever really be ready." Willow hardly looked at me, I guess she was getting in the zone, it felt weird. Wrong. Then again with my deluded sense of morality I should just leave the big questions up to someone else. "Do your thing Red." We all grabbed hands and Willow started chanting.

"Osiris, keeper of the gate, master of all fate, hear us! Before time and after, before knowing and nothing-." The light around us intensified, red hazy light which made me realize that I could hear motorcycles in the distance. Something was off. "Accept our offering, know our prayer." Willow never did tell us what the offering was, she was acting super shady earlier but I dismissed it as her acting indifferent towards me, it was known to happen. Now I wasn't so sure what was going on. "Osiris, here lies the warrior of the people-." Holy fuck were those-

"What's happening to her?!" Xander yelled, I looked over at Willow my eyes widening as bugs began to crawl under her skin. I wasn't sure if any of us were even holding hands anymore, just watching Willow as a vortex surrounded her.

"Tara, what's happening?" Tara would know what's going on, Willow went over the spell with her, she was supposed to know all the risks. Now with a fucking snake crawling out of her throat something told me she didn't exactly clue her girlfriend in on how this would work.

"Let her cross over. Osiris, let her cross over. Release her!" I didn't even notice the motorbike goons until they smashed the vessel in front of Willow. There were a lot of them, riding around, laughing and talking about the slayer being dead. Willow was unconscious and Xander was starting to pick her up, I tried to stand, but I fell back down grabbing at my chest. I felt like something inside me was ready to break out.

"Faith, are you okay?" Tara was trying to help me up while Anya looked around for an escape route. Usually I stayed and fought no matter what but now, I felt like my heart was going to explode. "We have to run. Now." I followed them, deeper into the woods. Anya was running ahead of Tara and I, but after a while I started to feel more like myself again.

"Tara what the hell was that back there?" I finally asked her as the three of us hid behind a few bushes and waited for the demon gang to speed by.

"I-I don't know…I'm scared-."

"We have to find Xander. Those demons are chasing them and they might hurt Xander." Anya said in her matter-of-fact tone.

"A-and Willow. I don't know what I'd do if anything-."

"Yeah I know." I assured her. "We go back to the Magic Box and regroup, then I'll figure it out. Everyone makes it out of this alive, alright? I promise." We started running, the last thing I ever expected to be doing tonight. I knew Tara was getting tired, but she kept pushing, she was so worried about Willow it was plain to see. Anya wouldn't give a shit about anyone but Xander anyway, so I wasn't too concerned about her. I really wished G-man was here, maybe he wouldn't know what to do but at least he'd make it sound like everything was okay. We really needed him around.

We ran into the Magic Box and started looking around, Xander and Willow weren't here, and neither was Dawn. With the whole city going to hell I'd hoped that at least she'd be with someone other than Spike, he'd better keep her safe or I'd have his bleached head. "Where's Xander?"

"They'll be fine, even with a snake coming out of her throat, Red's one hell of a witch." I assured Anya.

"She wasn't good enough to bring Buffy back." Anya muttered as Tara began clearing a spot on a table. I tried to ignore Anya, which is something I did at all times, but she was right. Buffy was still dead. I was here and Buffy's dead. I couldn't stop those demons, I don't know how. I don't have a plan or Giles to back me up, it's just me. The Slayer. And I have no clue what to do. "Now's not a good time for yoga, Tara. We have to find Xander."

"Chill out Anya, she's doing something." What Tara was doing who knew? When a light appeared out of nowhere I knew I was in over my head, Tara seemed pretty pleased with herself though, so it must be good. "What was that?"

"It'll guide Willow to me, she knows what it means. What now?" I didn't like this, everyone looking to me for the next move. My idea was to fight, but I knew that wasn't logical we were outnumbered. "We have to go and find Dawn."

"No, you can't. Neither one of you can go out there. It's dangerous, I'll go-."

"But you could get hurt." I grabbed a knife and stuck it in its holster.

"I'm a slayer, it's what I do." I started for the door but Tara grabbed my arm.

"I'll go with you, Willow's bound to find me no matter what but I'm too worried about Dawn. I'll go with you and Anya will stay here in case anyone shows up." I thought it over for a second, Anya could do a protection spell if she needed it, and it wouldn't hurt to have Tara come with me.

"Fine come on." We left the shop, immediately awestruck by the chaos that surrounded us. Demons were running free, breaking into stores, setting things on fire. I wish I was the real slayer, I wish I was Buffy, none of this would be happening if she was still here. "If you get hurt Red's gonna kill me."

"So then why'd you let me come?" We snuck off through a dark alley and started making our way towards the Summers' residence.

"Because I'm not Buffy, I don't do bossing people around." I explained. "And I figured you'd keep me grounded, make sure I didn't do anything stupid." Two demons charged us from down the alley, I pulled my knife and took one of them out easily. The other went for Tara, I grabbed him and threw him against the wall. I got in a few punches before slitting its throat. I could hear Tara gasp behind me and I thought we were going to get blindsided again, but when I turned around it was just her standing there. She wasn't afraid of the demon just what I'd done to it. I could see it in her eyes, even if I was protecting her, even if I was fighting evil, a part of her deep down was afraid of me. "Tara?"

"I'm sorry I j-just…sometimes I…"

"Yeah, me too." She didn't understand what I meant, or maybe she did, all I know is that her eyes widened and I realized something was behind me. I spun around and held my knife out readying myself to fight. But it wasn't a demon, my knife fell to the ground, and I think for a second I thought I was hallucinating. I thought maybe this was some kind of dream and I was still in prison, still locked up and I was finally losing my mind. Finally getting what I deserved. "Buffy?"

I took a step forward but she flinched and backed away. Her eyes wandered the alley, she saw burning buildings and heard screams. "Is this hell?"

"What?" She ran off and I tried to give chase but I heard a scream from behind me and saw Anya, Xander and Willow running towards us being chased by four demons. Even as I was fighting them off it felt strange. Sure I'd made the choice a few times to run away I'd never expect it from Buffy. She always fought for what was right, she always fought for her friends. And here I was doing it for her, knowing that I would never replace her, never be good enough for them. I was fighting when all I wanted to do was run.

Once I'd killed them all, and sent one running, we finally got a chance to catch our breaths. "Was that the Buffybot?" Xander asked. He knew it wasn't, everyone knew that, but a part of them couldn't believe what they'd seen.

"It was Buffy you moron. It was her." I sighed. "What the fuck Red?"

"It worked. She's back, she's alive-." She was so stuck in her amazement she didn't realize what was so wrong about this. She didn't see the fear in Buffy's eyes, she didn't understand that she'd messed up somehow.

"She just ran away from us-."

"From you!" Willow snapped. "She was running from you."

"Fine, whatever you say. I'm going to find Dawn." It took me a while to notice the footsteps behind me. It was Tara, for some reason I felt like she could never let things go. Everything needed to be resolved, but I didn't want that. I liked storming off, I wanted to leave things up in the air, I wanted Willow to understand that she was powerful but sure as hell wasn't God. "Why are you following me?"

"Because I'm supposed to stop you from doing stupid things, remember?" I tried not to smile but ultimately failed. "Are you angry?" I didn't want to respond so I didn't, I just kept walking until she grabbed my wrist. She wasn't strong but I stopped anyway just to let her feel like she was. "Fine, go ahead. Hit me. Get it all out."

"Shut up-."

"Make me." She challenged. This was new, usually Tara would try and calm everyone down not get them riled up.

"Why? I ain't mad at you. I'm mad because this isn't who I am. I'm Faith, I fucking kick ass and nothing gets to me, but then I came here and things started to make sense and now I'm lost again. And to top everything off there's no one to fix it, I had the mayor and then Angel and even Giles…what do I have now?"

"You don't need anyone to fix this. There's nothing to fix, you're making all the right choices." Tara let go of my wrist and smiled. "Turning over a new leaf." Even though I knew she was being genuine I still heard the playfulness in her voice. It was nice, welcomed actually, the demons were already started to clear out.

Buffy was back. Alive. It wasn't perfect, life never was, but I was happy.

And then I felt the pain. Her pain, I doubled over and tried not to scream. Tara rushed over to help me, but I brushed her off, this wasn't me. I wasn't feeling this. Buffy was. "Fuck." I covered my ears trying to drown out the voices. _Jump. Do it. Jump_. I didn't understand what was happening, not until I looked up. I hadn't been here since Glory, since Buffy sacrificed herself from the same balcony she was standing on right now. I was about to run up there when I saw someone else up there with her. "Dawn…"

"What? Oh God, Dawnie-." I grabbed Tara's hand before she could go up there. Something told me neither one of us was supposed to do anything. "We have to go and-."

"No. Buffy sacrificed herself for Dawn, she died for her, she'd do anything for her." Tara didn't understand what I was saying. Even through the pain I was desperate to make sense, to show her that I could be strong too. "We can't do or say anything to stop what's going on up there. Dawn has to do it." I remember this feeling. I remember being helpless like this before, I remember the pain of wanting to end it, wanting to step away from it all. Those were my feelings, but now Buffy was having them too. I never thought she would, I always thought her life was perfect, sunshine and daisies, and maybe it was.

But as soon as she followed Dawn down the steps and Dawn wrapped her arms around her big sister, I knew. I knew things would never be the same.

**R & R, please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter's a bit longer, so I hope you enjoy. Thank you Ltlconf for the review, I have thought about the fact that Faith is The True Slayer before, and trust me it will come up in this story, but not just yet. Let me know what you think.**

I waited on the porch. I'd been chain smoking for the past hour. No one told me anything, no one told me to come inside, so I just kept waiting. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for exactly. I hadn't seen B, they'd got back before Tara and I, and since I stopped dead outside, there was no clear indication that I'd be seeing anyone any time soon.

Now I was starting to understand what it felt like to be a vampire. Waiting outside, hoping someone cared enough about you to invite you in. Sure it wasn't really the same but it felt like it. I should just leave, it was beyond late and I was exhausted. I just wanted to be alone for a bit.

"Faith?" I turned around and saw Dawn walking towards me tentatively. I wonder it was because I probably smelled of smoke or because she was so shaken up by her sister's return. We didn't tell her, now I knew that was a mistake.

Among other things.

"What's up, D?" I put out my cigarette and leaned against the railing behind me. Dawn walked over and did the same. She looked over at me and then down at the ground, like she wanted to say something but didn't know how. "Can't help ya if you don't speak your mind."

"Buffy's different, she's…she hardly spoke, she-."

"Was dead. Give B some time, she'll be in tip-top slayer shape in no time." Dawn nodded her head but I could tell something was still bothering her. We both looked up when we saw the porch door open and Tara peek her head out. She must have realized she interrupted something when she looked at me because she almost retreated back inside, but thought better of it.

"Dawn, you should go to bed. Get some rest." Tara suggested. Instead of arguing Dawn walked inside without a huff of disapproval. Then again, she usually listened to Tara, everyone kind of did. "Coming?" I looked up and Tara was still standing there, waiting, only now she her brow had furrowed and I felt bad for what I was about to say.

"I have to go." She stepped forward and closed the porch door. "Like…I just need some space from…" I looked towards the house, I could still hear the faint mumblings of Xander, Anya, and Willow from the living room. "Maybe a few days focusing on work, tell B I'll even patrol for her. It'll be like a mini vacation, only I'll be still be stuck in this place."

"Why are you running?" Tara asked.

"No running, my feet are flat on the ground. I just feel like you all need to get reacquainted is all. I don't want to get in the way." The truth was, I just couldn't stand to see Buffy, not because I hated her, but because now everything I felt: comfort, loved, safe. It was all going to be taken away from me. Because for once I _was_ The Slayer, one and only, the chosen. Now it was back to being split, only Buffy would always take the lead. I always told everyone I wasn't jealous of Buffy's life, but I was.

She had friends. She had a sister. She had meaning. And for these past few months I had that too, only it wasn't superficial, like the time I was in her body. It was real.

"Maybe I'll hang out with Dawn or something, take the kid out to lunch." I offered, since Tara didn't seem like she would be letting up any time soon.

"Promise." It wasn't a question, more on the demanding side than anything.

"Yeah. Scout's honor." I assured her. Tara wrapped her arms around my neck, it was so sudden that I almost lost my balance. I hugged her back, wanting to know what I did to deserve this.

"Thank you for…" She pulled back and gave me that signature smile of hers. "Well…" Her giggle changed the mood completely, even I laughed along with her. "Saving my life like a million times." The shy side of Tara always hit me as odd, but increasingly familiar. When she dipped her head down and smiled, it always made me think of the first time I met her. How she was just Willow's college girl, separate from the rest. Now that had changed.

Look at me feeling all sorry for myself when here's Tara losing as much as I was with B's return. Tara was like a mom to Dawn, a friend to everyone, even Spike had grown kind of attached. Now that B's here she's gonna move to the background again. I can really relate to that. "Hey if lil D wants to hang you can come too, if you want." Tara smiled and so did I. "But I really should go."

I was halfway down the steps when Tara called after me. "You're not running right?"

"Just leaving, vacationing really. Feet are still flat on the ground."

Okay so vacation was not the right word. I'd been taking up extra shifts at the bar, and even though I liked the pay if I got groped one more time someone was gonna lose a limb. I heard a knock at my front door and I hopped off my bed jogging over and opening it to see Dawn and Tara doubled over in fits of giggles. "What's with the laugh-a-thon?" I asked them.

"A guy was hitting on Tara on the way up here." Dawn said in between giggles. I laughed and waved them inside. I still had to get changed, but it was nice to have there here even if they were a bit early.

"Did you get his number T?" I asked earning a slap on the shoulder from a very red Tara. "Ow!"

"Oh please Faith, we all know that didn't hurt." Dawn said from the kitchen. I looked over and saw her looking through my fridge occasionally sneaking bites of whatever I had in there. "Are you ready?"

"Give me a sec, gotta change." I walked into my room, only to be followed by Tara. I didn't let her presence discourage me from changing shirts. I mean it was Tara, she was all over Willow anyway. "What's up T?"

"Why are you suddenly calling me that? What'd I do to get a one letter nickname?" She asked curiously. She sat on my bed while I pulled on some boots.

"Dunno, it just works. I mean A, X, or W don't really work too well. Why? Don't tell me you don't like it." Tara shook her head and I sat down at her side, nudging her a little. "Didn't think you'd show. I figured with the badies, school, and your girl toy you wouldn't be able to fit me in your schedule."

"Stop acting like that." Tara chastised. "And besides you're already making it difficult by having us come here in the first place, the least you could do is not be such a drama queen."

"I am not a drama queen!" I assured her.

"Yes you are." I looked up in the doorway. Dawn was standing there with a smirk, and I rolled my eyes, realizing nothing could get past her. "So are we going or not?" I grabbed a jacket and wrapped my arm around Dawn's shoulder leading the way out of my apartment.

Dawn got to choose where we ate which was okay with me. I was starving so I ordered a burger and fries, Dawn ordered the same. Tara got some hippie veggie stuff, but only Dawn made fun of her for it. "So how was work today?" Tara asked.

"Boring, frankly it got me thinking I might want to rejoin the Scoobs and research all day. Things are better at night, but the day shift is pretty tame."

"Why have to been avoido-gal anyway? You haven't come around in a while. You haven't even seen Buffy." I could tell Dawn was worried, which was unnecessary. "Don't you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, yeah, course I do. I just need some time, things with her are complicated." The waitress returned with our food. She must have put a rush on it. We thanked her but she lingered for a second.

"You look like you could use a drink." She said with a smile. "A beer maybe?"

"Yeah, sounds good." She gave me another warm smile and peaked over her shoulder as she walked away just to make sure I was still looking at her, which I was.

"Earth to Faith." I snapped my head back towards Dawn who looked just as amused as Tara. "She was totally flirting with you."

"What can I say, I'm a chick magnet." I joked.

"Oh please." Tara said with an eye roll even though I knew she was trying to hold back a laugh.

"I've got you two here with me, don't I?" Dawn and Tara shrugged and nodded, knowing that I'd caught em good. "So did B say if she wanted to patrol tonight? Cause as much as I'd love to kick some ass, I think I might…" The waitress returned with my drink and we looked right at one another briefly, before she winked and walked away again. "…have other plans."

"You've got to be kidding me." Dawn exclaimed. "She's not that cute."

"D, we might need to talk to your big sis about getting you so glasses because that woman is most definitely cute." Dawn didn't seem so convinced which made me wonder why a kid like her had such high standards. Guys her age were still going through puberty. "Plus I've been slaying all summer without taking care of the double H's, cut me some slack." Tara's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Double H's?" Tara asked curiously.

"You don't want to know." Dawn said. "Sleaze."

"Shrimp." I replied with a smirk. "But maybe you're right, Tara's a little too modest to be corrupted by dirty mind like mine."

"It's a little late for that." Tara said with a chuckle. I took a sip from me beer and laughed. Suddenly thinking of something funny. "What?"

"I'll tell you later, D'll have a fit if she hears what I was thinking." I grabbed one last fry and finished off my beer before I slapped some money down on the table along with a napkin with my number on it. Just in case. Dawn led the way out, happily chatting with Tara about magic, I hopped into the front seat and started the car. "Where to? You've both got class tomorrow so I'm thinking back to the house."

"You're no fun." Dawn chastised from the back seat.

"Stop fucking with my rep lil D, I'm just tryin to make sure you don't end up slumming it up in a motel when you're my age." I explained to her. "Plus school can be fun, knowledge and all. I mean look at G-man, dude's smart as hell, helps save the world, you wanna do that right?"

"I don't want to be old and British." Dawn deadpanned.

"Fine well then look at Tara, she's like mad smart, plus she knows magic…how fucking cool is that?"

"Not that cool." Tara mumbled.

"Shut it T, you're ruining my life lesson here." I could see Tara smiling out of the corner of my eye but I tried to ignore it. "Besides D, the big sis graduated from high school and got mad crazy offers from colleges, if you end up with a lower gpa than B she'll never let you hear the end of it."

"Good point." Dawn said after a moment of pondering. "Home it is." When we arrived at the Summers' residence I could see Xander's car. I bet the whole gang was here, even Buffy. I pulled into the driveway and Dawn and Tara started to get out of the car. "Come inside Faith."

"Uh…maybe some other-."

"It wasn't a question." Tara said as she opened up my door and offered her hand for me to take. It's not like I could say no, and if I drove away then they'd both be mad at me. I grabbed Tara's hand and allowed myself to be led towards the house. Once I was inside I could feel the air tense. Xander and Willow were in the living room, Dawn walked over to join them. I could here movement in the kitchen and just as Tara was about to lead me towards the room I stopped her. "What's wrong?"

"B doesn't want to talk to me. I know she doesn't." Tara furrowed her brow.

"You're lying." She said outright. I knew I was a good liar, it was a fact, which meant that Tara was reading my aura right now. That was the only way she could tell. "I know you're not afraid so what is it?"

"It's just…complicated." Tara didn't even flinch. "And stupid so I'll just…" I stepped past Tara and headed for the kitchen. I hesitated, but then walked in pretending like nothing was wrong. I have to admit, for a second it did feel pretty normal. Back when B was still in high school I did spend some time in the kitchen with her, mostly raiding the cabinets for food after we slayed. Now Buffy's eyes went to mine and then down at the bowl of cereal in front of her.

I guess she'd been trying to avoid me too. We had more to talk about than I thought.

"You're still here." I leaned up against the counter as Buffy started to eat.

"Didn't the Scoobies tell you that?" I asked her.

"I just meant…" She looked up at me. "I asked you to save Dawn that's all I asked from you but you stayed and protected her and my friends." I nodded, I could see what she meant. I didn't expect this, not even from myself. "So if you were so gung-ho about staying here…why am I only just now seeing you?"

"You know it's complicated, B. It's not like I was trying to avoid you I just…" How was I supposed to explain things to her? We did have an intense slayer connection, couldn't she just feel how I felt anyway? "When they brought you back and you were up on that ledge, I could feel you, you know? And not even in the fun kind of way…that's why I stayed away. Because I've felt that way before and it hurt too much to relive it." Buffy walked over to my side of the counter, ignoring her bowl of cereal and leaning next to me.

"How did you make it stop?"

"What?"

"The pain. Tell me how to make it stop." Buffy was almost pleading now and everything felt so surreal. She was quiet, she only wanted me to hear what she was saying, but I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle this. Buffy was the strong one not me. "There has to be a way."

"You know for a girl who got pulled out of hell you're acting pretty ungrateful to Willow. She risked a lot for you, you know. We all did." Buffy remained silent and I finally looked at her, wondering what was so different about her anyway. "Jesus, the silent treatment isn't helping either. Aren't you gonna punch me or something, at least that would be kinda normal-."

"No." Buffy interjected. "I won't hurt you Faith, you're the only person I feel connected to here."

"That's heavy." I joked, but Buffy didn't seem to find it amusing in the slightest. "Fuck Buffy…okay then. What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing." I waited for her to continue. Nothing wasn't a real answer, it meant nothing right now. "Everything."

"B-." Buffy grabbed my hand and we stood there in silence for a little while longer. "I can't do this sappy shit. Not now, and we can't talk about other things either because we know we're not ready. See why I didn't want to come here, do you get it now?"

"I wish things were easier. I wish-."

"Why are you wishing anything? I'm the one who messed up, I'm the one who turned bad, I'm the one who-."

"Faith would you shut up. It wasn't just you, it's my fault too. Stop blaming yourself for everything and just listen to me." Buffy let go of my hand and she stood in front of me. I had no other options but to look right at her. "I know I'm supposed to be strong, I know I'm supposed to fight, but I'm scared and tired and I need you."

"B, I'm standing right here." I sighed. "The Chosen Two back in business." Buffy wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, I hugged her back. I guess there was a first time for everything. Buffy let go of me and looked like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Relax B, coping a feel is understandable I mean I am pretty hot."

"Shut up." I even got a laugh out of her, I seemed to be making progress here.

"Make me Blondie." Buffy smiled and so did I. It had been a while, and even if it was kind of artificial, we were still back to old times for a moment. It felt alright, good actually.

"Where were you?" Buffy asked relaxing into a comfortable chat.

"Out with Dawn and Tara, went for a bite." I told her.

"They your new best friends?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Yep I am." Dawn walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Faith is so much cooler than you Buffy."

"Thanks Dawn." Buffy said with a small smile.

"Hey Faith have you gotten a call yet?" Dawn asked curiously.

"Left my phone in the car, so I've got you to blame if I don't get laid tonight." Buffy arched an eyebrow and I laughed a little to myself.

"Excuse me what?"

"A hot waitress, long story short." Buffy rolled her eyes. "So nice chat B, chat you on the flip side lil D, and I'm outta here. Oh wait…where's T?"

"She's upstairs getting ready for bed." Dawn told me.

"Well I'm gonna go ask if she wants a ride to class tomorrow, I'll be back down in a second." I left the kitchen, moved past the crew and walked upstairs. I knew that Tara and Willow slept in Joyce's room so I knocked first before walking in. Tara was standing there in a plain t-shirt and shorts, ruffling through a book when she noticed me. "Hey."

"Hey." She set the book down and sat down on the bed.

"I talked to B…it was kinda intense, we scratched the surface but there's more to come I guess. Thanks for the push." Tara nodded but kept her head down. "So what do I owe you?"

"Nothing." Tara said with a laugh. "Nothing at all."

"Are you really this sweet or is it like a ploy you used to get into Willow's pants. I mean I won't tell, but I'm just wonderin'." I sat down on the bed next to Tara and grabbed the book she was looking at earlier waiting for her to answer.

"No ploys on my end." Tara assured me.

"Well then congrats to Willow, girl apparently has game."

"Games have nothing to do with love, Faith."

"If you say so T." I set the book down. "I'll be your ride to class tomorrow, meet at the MB?"

"M…B?" She questioned.

"Magic Box." I told her.

"Why can't you call anything by its actual name?"

"Because nothing is ever as it seems." I joked. "Or something like that."

**Read & Review, let me know that you're out there and reading. Up Next Once More With Feeling.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Once More With Feeling will be broken up into two parts and so, I suspect, will Tabula Rasa. I can't help it, they're favorites of mine. Also Faith's line in 'I've Got Theory' is sung in the same tune as Xander's witches line. Enjoy.**

Picking up Tara turned into us sitting around and listening to the snorefest that is Xander talking about is job. Sure I liked a man in uniform, just like everyone else, but right now I just wanted to jet. "Cool Xander, next time don't forget to tell us the exact measurements of every single cut of wood, I'm sure that would be a real thriller." Xander glared but didn't say a word to defend himself. "T, ready to go?" I asked. She set down a book she was reading for fun, and grabbed her bag.

"Wait where are you going?" Willow asked Tara. With the slight frown that reached Tara's face I could tell that something was up with them. Willow didn't seem to notice Tara's expression but she did look over at me with a frown instead. "And why are you going with Faith?"

"Relax Red, just because I know how to take care of a woman doesn't mean I'll try a thing with your girl." Buffy covered her ears.

"Please with the details Faith." Buffy chastised before looking over at Dawn who didn't even seem fazed by the whole thing.

"Yes Faith, please with the details." Xander said enthusiastically.

"Maybe later X-man." I replied with a smirk. "Now maybe we should-." Everyone fell silent, and I looked around wondering if I'd grown two or maybe even three heads. It took me a while to realize they weren't look at me, instead everyone was focused on what was behind me. I spun on my heels and saw Giles, standing there with the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. He was looking right at Buffy, and it wasn't long before B brushed past me and hugged her Watcher like there was no tomorrow.

I was happy for both of them, but mostly kinda jealous. Wow talk about flashback. I felt out of place again, maybe it was because I never really had a Watcher, not since Boston. Not even when I needed one most. "G-Man's back, all's right in the world." I said when Buffy and Giles broke apart. Giles looked at me with a smile, his eyes said it all.

"Faith I'm happy to see you." I nodded, that was all he needed to say. I knew he meant it, that's what mattered to me. I moved to the background, trying to avoid all the sappy hugs and tears, mostly from Willow. It was nice to have him back, duh, but it was also strange to be there for a reunion. I sat down next to Dawn, who didn't seem to want to join in on the lovefest either.

"So D, what about you and I have a movie night sometime soon?"

"Just the two of us?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"You can't wait to get me alone, huh? Sounds good to me, wouldn't want anyone else ruining our fun, right?" Dawn nodded just as Tara walked over and kneeled down next to us. "Ready?"

"Yep, let's go." Tara and I headed for the front door and managed to slip out without making a scene out of it. This was new territory, with Buffy back I felt like old news but it was alright. For once I wasn't the central focus, and for once I was enjoying it. I guess that's why Tara was so easy to hang out with, she knew exactly how to lay low.

After I'd been driving for a little bit I felt a smile tug at my lips and I just couldn't help but give in. "What are you smiling at?" Tara questioned.

"Willow's wiggin out back there. It was funny." I said with a chuckle. "She thinks I'm gonna use my mad skills on you T, I can't believe she's still hatin after all this time."

"You two do have a rocky history." Tara said ignoring everything else I'd said.

"So I punched her once, I punched Buffy lots of times and she still likes me." I pulled in front of the school and parked my car. "All I'm saying is why is she so worried about keeping you? Is the sex not good or something."

"F-Faith you shouldn't ask q-questions like that."

"Why not?" Tara blushed and dipped her head down. "Fine, fine I hate playing by the rules. I stopped killing people, isn't that enough?"

"Okay now you're just talking." Tara said with a light nudge.

"Yeah? You should see what else I can do with my mouth." Tara rolled her eyes and I leaned back in my seat laughing until Tara tossed an empty soda can at me. "Sorry, you know I'm only kidding. You're the only one who lets me joke around with them, Willow hates me, Xander's pervier than I am, Dawn's a kid, and Anya kinda intimidates me. Buffy's always fun to screw around with but she's also stabbed me before so I'll have to try not to overdo it."

"I'm not weak like everyone thinks." That caught me off guard.

"Did I say weak?" I asked. "Cause that's not what I meant. Hey, I was there when you moved into Buffy's house and took care of Dawn, I know how strong you are. So stop putting words into my mouth and go put words into your brain, you're gonna be late."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of a great person to talk to?"

"No."

"Well you are. And sometimes I do feel kinda alone, you know? Like none of the Scoobies understand me, so if you ever feel like that too…I'm here for you."

"Thanks T." She slowly got out of the car but tossed a book back inside. "What's this?"

"So you can put some words into your brain too." I picked up the book. It was a book on witchcraft, I smiled to myself. I guess it wouldn't hurt to read a little.

Okay so…what the actual fuck? I'm all about fun, it's in my nature, but when I walk outside and get bombarded by a mailman who starts singing about packages, that's where I draw the line. Frankly it was kind of amusing, until some guy nearly crashed his car because he broke out into song and dance. And that's when amusing turned into mystical, and I knew I had to go.

I booked it to the Magic Box, I thought that if something was wrong then Giles would already know about it. He'd at least have a guess. "Giles!" Everyone except Dawn was at the Magic Box. And my outburst caused just about everyone to turn and stare at me. Okay so maybe that haven't noticed anything weird, I mean maybe I got drugged and had a bad trip earlier. Although it did feel really fucking real to me.

"Yes Faith." Giles said from where he was standing by the ladder.

"Oh um…nothing." I walked over and took a seat next to Xander. I looked over at Willow and Tara, they were acting all lovey dovey, which was cute because I could've sworn Tara was a little pissed at Red yesterday. I guess I just read into nothing then. "Wicked cool dresses, you two look all middle-agey only without the black plague…oh and not old either, I meant the other middle age." Buffy walked over slowly towards us, she had something on her mind.

"Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um ... burst into song?" I looked over at Buffy, so something was going on.

"Merciful Zeus!" Xander exclaimed.

"We thought it was just us." Willow said earning a nod from Tara who was equally as bewildered.

"I thought I was on a trip." I said.

"What kind of trip?" Anya questioned in that weird, socially awkward way that she says everything.

"One hosted by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." I joked.

"Who's Lucy?" Anya questioned quirking her head to the side.

"Maybe we should do some research." Tara suggested. "You know with the books."

"Do we have books on this?" Willow questioned.

"Well, we just gotta break it down. Look at the factors before it happens again. Because I for one-"

"_I've got a theory that it's a demon, a dancing demon ugh…something isn't right there."_ I nearly fell out of my chair I was so shocked to hear Giles burst out into song. I didn't even have time to compose myself, because as it turned out I was suddenly a part of a Scooby musical number.

"_I've got a theory, some kid is dreamin. And we're all stuck inside his whacky Broadway nightmare."_ Willow added.

"_I've got a theory we should work this out_." Okay great so there were harmonies too.

"Yeah no shi-." Suddenly without warning or hesitation I started singing too. "_It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?"_

"_It could be witches! Some evil witches!" Xander sang jumping out of his chair in excitement before he turned and saw Willow and Tara giving him the evil eye. "Which is ridiculous cause witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the earth and woman power and I'll be over here."_

"_I've got a theory, it could be payback. I mean I did kill a bunch of people, But that was in my past_ _life_." I sang even though I was practically trying to ripe out my vocal cords to keep from singing anything else.

"_I've got a theory it could be bunnies."_ As ridiculous as this whole singing randomly thing is, I think that line was even more insane.

"_I've got a-."_

"_Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. They've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Bunnies! Bunnies, it must be Bunnies!"_ Anya looked around briefly before she slowly sat down. "_Or maybe midgets."_

"_I've got a theory we should work this fast. Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed." _I got up and headed for the back room. I was so over this singing thing, I just wanted to punch something so I wouldn't feel so weird.

"_I've got a theory."_ I stopped briefly just to hear what B had to say. "_It doesn't matter._" I rolled my eyes and went into the training room. And to think Buffy was the leader of this gang, the one always stopping bad guys, and now she didn't even think it mattered. Not such a hero after all.

I walked over and hit the bag a few times. It felt good. Normal. Maybe I really should get out and slay more, especially if B's gonna be such a downer. After a few rounds of I-wonder-how-hard-I-can-punch, I heard the bell ring and relaxed banter from the crew. "Hi Faith." I turned around and spotted Dawn walking in with her backpack slug over her shoulders.

"Lil D, what's up?" I asked her.

"Oh nothing, just lots of singing." Dawn shrugged and sat down on the mat.

"Yeah I got dragged into a big musical number a bit ago. It's affecting everyone. What about you, did you sing about anything?" I asked curiously.

"Math." Dawn said with a groan.

"Bright side, if this keeps up you and I might even get our own number." Dawn smiled at that and so did I. "So the gang's on it right?"

"Yeah, Willow and Tara left to go get some books or…have sex…I'm not really sure which." I arched an eyebrow, nothing really does get past Dawn. "Faith can I ask you something?"

"Depends, I've got the right to deny you if I want to."

"I was just wondering if you could teach me how to fight. I mean Buffy's always complaining about having to protect me and if I knew how to fight then she'd stop complaining, right?" I thought it over. Dawn was right, if she could fight things would be a whole lot different. At this point she's probably more agile than Xander and he still gets to stick around, it's really not fair.

"I'm all about that. Deal. But I figured you'd want big sis to teach you her moves." I didn't want to step in, especially if it had to do with Buffy. She'd always made it clear that Dawn and her mom were her family not mine.

"Well you're a slayer, right? And I was made out of slayer blood so…technically you are my big sister."

"The whole key thing is still buggin me out, Angel gave me a half-assed explanation back in LA, I still don't get it." I walked over and sat down on the mat next to Dawn who was suddenly very quiet. "So are you gonna tell me?"

"These monks changed the form of a ball of energy into me, because they knew Buffy would protect me. Glory needed the key to open a portal to her world, I was what she needed. The thing is I'm not really real, I mean I'm sitting here but…all those memories you have of me, they aren't real."

"I don't understand, I mean I remember you…I remember meeting you. B and I were tearing up a meal and you came down and called B a slob. I even remember locking you in the closet when I was acting like a maniac. Are you telling me none of that happened?" Dawn laid back on the mat, frowning as she stared up at the ceiling.

"No, it's all made up lies."

"It's not lies if you believe it." I laid down next to her. "Listen Dawn, I have a thousand memories of you, of us laughing and throwing things at Buffy at the movies, of us hanging out in your room waiting for Buffy to come home, or you and I sneaking snacks from the kitchen without Joyce even knowing I was there." I could feel her tense up just at the sound of her mother's name. "I have a thousand memories of hurting you too, of leaving without a word, lashing out, and coming back just to finish the pain I started. And if you tell me that those memories aren't real…than what the hell am I redeeming myself for?"

"For Buffy?" Dawn asked quietly, her voice shaking.

"It's not always about her, sure she played a part in it, but so did Willow and Xander and Giles. So did you." The silence overcame us both, and it felt weird considering everyone was supposed to be bursting into song all over the town. "So whatever you say about not being real or whatever, it doesn't make sense to me, because I can't believe it. I won't believe it."

"Thanks Faith." Dawn said, I could feel her let out a sigh of relieve and relax. "My throat feels funny." Dawn said suddenly sitting up. "I think I'm about to sing."

"Don't!" My eyes shot to the door when I realized I wasn't the only one who'd yelled for Dawn to avoid singing. Buffy was standing there looking embarrassed that she'd been caught. "Um…Dawn, we should probably head home. Giles and Tara will take you."

"Okay." Dawn got up to her feet. "See you later?"

"Sure thing." I assured Dawn. Dawn left the room and Buffy walked over and held out her hand. I took it and allowed her to pull me up to my feet. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"You don't have to be nice, but you have been. It's a nice change of scenery." Buffy had on that signature smirk of hers like she was holding something back but she wasn't going to say it. "I have an offer for you."

"No I won't sleep with you, I mean it's tempting but…morals and all." Buffy punched my shoulder, hard, just to prove that she wasn't going to back down. "Damn B, you holdin a grudge or what?"

"Shut up Faith, I'm asking you to move in to my house not sleep with me." That came out of left field.

"Why would you want me to live there?"

"Because it's what I should've done in the first place. As soon as you came here I should've made you move in, things would've been so different. It's my biggest regret so let me stop regretting it and move in with me…us." I was shocked. Taken aback. Both. Since when did I get the special guest treatment anywhere? Buffy looked serious, but I still felt like I'd be imposing. Above all else, Buffy and I still did have an intense connection, feeling that all the time might prove too much for the both of us.

"B, I know you're trying to be nice and trust me I appreciate it, but the gang's been real swell even when you weren't here. I don't need to live in close quarters with you all to know that I belong. Plus I need my space for other reasons." I wiggled my eyebrows and Buffy proceeded to roll her eyes. "So this singing thing, when can I expect it to stop because frankly I don't think I should be in public anymore."

"I don't know we'll keep researching but I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots." I looked down at her boots, they were actually rather stylish. "So what are you up to?"

"Dunno, nothing really. I'll work out for a bit and then head back to my place, no work tonight so I might even patrol if I get too bored. Why?"

"I dunno, just curious is all. I thought you might want to hang out or something." I arched an eyebrow, what on earth was going on here? And why was B acting all casual all of a sudden, yeah we chatted a little bit but that didn't erase our history. There was still a lot left unsaid.

"What's up with you?" I asked her, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. What is it? You feeling low or something? Need someone to get you riled up. I mean I'm no Angel but I could-." Buffy shoved me back unexpectedly, her eyes dark, her face tense. "Okay…note to self, avoid saying the big guy's name. Sorry, I thought you just look like you could use-."

"Use what? An emotional rollercoaster?"

"No B, a fuck. You look like you could use a nice rough fuck."

"And you think I'd come to you to get that?" What on earth was she even getting at? What were we doing here? One minute she's asking me to move in and the next she's pushing me away.

"Maybe you would." I said firmly. "Maybe you'd just like a taste of bad. Maybe you like the idea of fucking me because even in my darkest moments you know that could've just as easily been you. With dead boys you know that'll never be you, but when you see me you think if only." I walked out, I didn't want to hear what she had to say. I didn't even like what I was saying myself. I just needed to go, head back to my apartment watch mindless cartoons and just breathe.

No distractions tonight, that's what I needed.

**Tell me what you think. Up next part two of OMWF.**


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